Journal 10-College Essay Draft

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” That is the most commonly asked question when you’re at least four years old. When you’re young, your imagination runs wild and you think that you can be whatever you want to be: a chef, doctor, firefighter, or engineer. But when you grow up, you realize that that’s not how easy life is. There are a lot of steps to get to the top. Everyone tells you when you are four years old that all you have to do is “chase your dreams”, but they never mention things such as college. Over the years, my growth has been a slow process and is still in progress. I have always admired how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. Caterpillars are vulnerable, small, and don’t really know much about the rest of the world; because of that, they freedom is restricted. It takes a while before that restriction is removed, and they are free to be whatever they want. My whole life, I was sort of afraid to think for myself for fear of failing and being a big disappointment. In 7th grade, there was an activity where our future careers were discussed. The eleven people before me had pretty satisfying answers, such as, “Veterinarian” or “Business person”. When it came to me, I didn’t want to pretend like I knew, so I said, “Oh, I’m not sure.” Everyone thought I was joking, and so they laughed. Deep down, I was so stunned, that I laughed too so I could hide what I truly felt. “Mom, what should I be in the future?” As usual, there’s this lecture about having a respectable job, and doing what you want. “I think you could try being a Civil Engineer”. In my mind, I was like, “Are you kidding me, I hate numbers”, but of course, I didn’t’ say it. I decided from that day that I shouldn’t let someone besides myself steer my life for me. During this time, I was still a caterpillar. Three years later, a sophomore in High School, I still feel that I’m still not the President of my life. During this time in High School, every one is starting to prepare for after High School, such as colleges or careers. From civil engineer, now, I supposedly want to be a nurse now. Honestly, I don’t like the medical field. Life is coming at me too fast, and it’s not even waiting for me to adjust to it. I feel as if I’m currently in a cocoon; my process of growing up is still in progress, but I can’t say yet that I am a butterfly. But when the time comes, hopefully, I will hatch out and finally let my wings spread out, so I am free. Free just like a butterfly.